I think it is time to start blogging again

I had decided to take a break from blogging about a year ago . . . but didn't think it would take a year to get motivated to start again.
SOO much has happened this year! Some huge unexpected changes have occurred.

Sept 2012 - Our little R's brother was born and we got to take him right from the hospital 2 days after he was born. So I got a new born! Sleepless night and busy days . . . I now had 4 boys! newborn, 1, 2, and 4. At the time we had the 1 year old and 4 year old going to daycare since they were foster kids they like you to keep them in daycare. plus it makes it easier on me when they have visits with their parents.

Dec 2012 -  Our 4 year old C was reunited with his parents. This was the hardest on Harrison. C became his best friend and older brother. We had him since May and they had developed quite a bond. Many times when people think about fostering being hard they think about themselves. . . but honestly it is just as hard if not harder on the kids.
We had a great Christmas with all the kids. . .busy but it was nice!

Feb 2013 -   We got a letter in the mail saying that we needed to be out of our rental in 30 days! That was such a huge shock and test of my faith. Our landlord had sold his house and needed to move back into the house he was renting to make a long story short. It took us a few weeks to find a place that would accommodate our ever growing family as well as our tight budget. We were frantic, angry, confused, and hopeless during this time. But God opened a door to a great house with even better landlords! We are so blessed to be in a house in the woods with a HUGE lot!

Also during this time . . . actually before we were asked to move Erick told me that he wanted to start praying about taking in a little girl. I was on board for a baby girl! Awe how cute, but no Erick said a child who was around 6-8 . . . umm nope not ready for a child. I have only been comfortable with kids that don't come with too much baggage you know. An older child would most definitely come with "issues".


to be continued . . .

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Full House

Update:  We have 4 boys in our home :) C-4, Harry - 2.5, R - 16m, G - 14 days old. Things are always busy :) One thing that I have to keep reminding myself is that boys are busy little people, all the time. They just need creative outlets to express their energy. They won't sit down quietly for a long period of time. God made them this way and just because they are this way doesn't mean they are bad. They do need to listen and they will but expecting them to be quiet and still all the time.. you are going to go crazy. This is something that I learned and once I understood it, it enabled me to relax a bit.
I mean come on, the reason we have kids is for the fun, busy, and entertaining atmosphere right?! Don't feel judged when people are over and your kids are having a good time. As long as they are not beating on each other, they are just doing what all kids should be doing. 

Anyhow, this is just something that I had to learn and wanted to share.

To Train up a Child...

Book source

I was recommended this book by a friend because I was explaining to her that I am so tired of my 2 year old's behavior. I also mentioned that I have become so angry and I don't like to be angry. So I got this book and started reading it and the next day I started to implement the godly way I should have been "training" my child. I have always loved that verse in Proverbs 22 "v 6 Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it."
I just never knew how to train my son. I knew how to get angry at his behavior and respond to him in a way that I always felt terrible about. 
To train means you need to show your child what behavior you expect out of them. But then to take it a step further you also need to be consistent and not let your child train you! I have been trained to respond to whining and tantrums, while Harry has been trained to the tone of my voice whether I am serious or not about him obeying right away. 

I know that this isn't really a great explanation but if you have a child under 3 there is still time to "train" them. They even say you can do older, but it will be harder. It has been hard but there has been DEFINITE improvement in my son. I was beginning to believe that he had ADHD, but now I am not so sure. I think that he was just getting out of control and I was letting him.  It is a small book, but wow it is powerful and has saved me in my job of mothering. I no longer feel like I am creating a monster, but a young man who will be a joy to be around!

*not everyone will agree with what this book teaches, but it is coming from a Godly perspective.

Anger... not a godly characteristic

 

The hardest part about have 3 boys right now is that I am having a hard time reacting/responding to them correctly. Harry is such a busy boy and wears me out! I really think that I need an extra supplement to keep up with him. But I have found myself so easily just losing my temper with him in the drop of a hat! And I hate that! I don't want to be angry with him, or so frustrated that I can't wait for nap time!

I am realizing that part of my problem with Harrison is that I have been comparing him and myself to an unrealistic image, to the point that when things don't go as planned I get upset! I am blaming him for not fitting into my perfect little mold I have pictured him to fit in! That is not his fault, he has his own personality and temperament and those are part of who God made him to be.

Yes his behavior is "moldable" and I wish I knew a faster way to get him to do what I want. And my anger is surely not something that I want him to copy, but sadly that is something he is learning from me right now. Children learn from observing how their parents do, and say. I really believe that is why there is so much about being slow to anger and slow to speak, because your little ones will pick up on it and think that is normal and acceptable!

This is something that I have been struggling with, and would love to know how you deal with it!

Jen

Thankful for closed doors

The Lord is answering prayers . . . My friend texted me on August 1st that the birthmom in Maine has decided to keep the baby. Even though we don't have the hope of that baby coming into our home now, we know that God is in control of how our family will be expanded. It may just be adopting through foster care now, or it could be a miraculous pregnancy. God is all powerful, all knowing, all caring, and all loving.

I am not going to limit God, because I know that he works in mysterious ways and has the best interest of my family in mind.

Pray that we would continue to grasp to this truth, because it does get discouraging at times.

God Bless,
Jen

Closed door

Possible adoptions?

I wanted to make sure that I document this, because with the way my mind is I won't remember all the details.

Yesterday 7/30/12 we got the call asking us if we wanted to take R's sibling it is born. And we also found out that there might be hope to adopt R as well.

We are also pursuing an adoption in Maine... but the mother is not 100% sure if she wants to give her baby up. Praying for an open or shut door, and if the door is open praying for God to open the flood gates for the funds to come in... because right now we only have 100$ in our adoption fund!

So if all of this is God's will we could have 4 children by January! Wow could be a flood gate of blessings!

Sorry that blogging is not my top priority right now

The last few months have been fun, crazy, entertaining, sleepless, adventurous, and lastly fulfilling.
Having 1 child and then jumping into 3 is harder than I would have expected. First of all my car is always full from carseats , toys, and strollers. My house is constantly in need of a cleaning and toys are always on the floor. But this is my life and I am enjoying it!
Harry and I get to spend the day together while the other 2 are in daycare, that has been really great for our relationship. And Harry on his own keeps me super busy... got to go he is tearing something up :)

Happy 1st Birthday R!

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/dd/Birthday_candles.jpg

Today is our little R's Birthday. I don't plan on doing anything big with him. I am just going to make cupcakes and let the boys get all sugarfied. I feel kind of bad that we are not having a big party for him, I mean Harry had a huge party, We had a party for Lee lee... With this one maybe because we haven't had him very long, or maybe because I am still over whelmed from Harry's party... I just don't feel motivated to do anything big! I think that I will just hug him longer and snuggle him, and give him a cupcake!
I am falling in love with this little one. His home life is quite sad.Ugh trust me it would break your heart.
 Since he is now one we put him in daycare. I have been able to get so much done today with only Harry. It has been nice but I keep thinking that there is a baby crying in the background. 

Half a month into it

I can't believe that we have already been foster parents for half a month already. Time is definitely speeding up having 2 extra children in our home. But our laundry is also doubling and the dishes! But I am learning to cope. I am actually going to put the little one in daycare full time once he turns one. I really think that I need the extra time as well as having the one on one time with Harrison. Harry has really been acting out not having all the attention on him. I think that it has been good for him to have the other children around, I guess they call it socialization ;)

But because of all these new children in our home we have also had a lot of new germs come into our home. We all suffered through the stomach bug last week, that wasn't fun. Thankfully that is over. I haven't been sick like that in a while. And Harry is so sheltered that he never gets sick. Anyways, this is helping me to keep the kids hands clean and not let them share anything that they might swap germs on.

I sometimes feel like I am nuts, but am totally relying on God to get me through each day!

Jen

Changes get better with a schedule

So since we got Chase we have had 3 other children come into our home! We had another 4 year old who was just a respite, so we knew we wouldn't have him very long (3 days). Then we got an emergency placement of a 7 month old. At first I jumped on this because I was soo excited to get a baby in our home again, but I forgot how much work they are and how much sleep you lose. I could have done it if I didn't have 3 other children in my home. He was moved to a home that is closer to his other siblings which are up in the center of the state. It worked out.(we had him 2 nights) Then we got our one year old. He is a great little guy but likes you to be in the same room as him and freaks out if he can't see you. Understandable but hard to get anything done. So at the moment we have C our 4 year old, Harry my 2 year old, and then R our very soon to be 1 year old. All boys!

My house has changed a lot, first of all these little guys brought a ton of stuff with them! That isn't normal, normally they come with a few things and you need to provide the rest. So this is nice but man I already had a bunch of crap toys. The laundry has exploded and there are 3 different sizes. I am doing the cloth diapering so that is a constant chore. I stopped for a couple days because we had a bout of diarrhea and I wasn't able to keep up with that. TMI sorry.

But things are not as chaotic as I would have thought, I don't have kids running around breaking everything in site, they are not fighting bed time. I really have been strict with a nap, eat, bedtime schedule. I think that is the only thing that has helped this house run. The littles know what is coming so they don't get upset.

There might be a possibility of taking on an 8 year old little girl. She had a liver replacement a little while ago, sad I know :( She has recently gotten sick and needs to be in a home that can care and monitor her. I am not sure all the details of this but she is on 10+ meds a day! My heart really goes out to her. Can you imagine going through this and not having your mommy or daddy to help you go through it!

So change is a constant in my home these days, but I am hoping that there will be a settling of the dust soon.

Jen

Full house

Wow . . . in 24 hours I went from 1 crazy little 2 year old. To having one 2 year old and two 4 year olds. My house turned into a loud messy place but I am happy. We have been waiting to have foster kids since we closed our house over 2 years ago. I just know that we are called to do this. It isn't easy. There are many parts of this I don't feel capable doing but I am doing it and I just need to not worry about tomorrow or the next kid.
I easily get overwhelmed thinking about the fact that I have a house full of kids! Or will have a baby who may wake up at all hours of the night or might through Harry for a loop because he won't be the baby anymore.

Oh Lord, give me strength!

But anyhow, Right now I have Harry and Chase in one room and V in the other room. But on Friday I will have R the soon to be 1 year old in that room, and V is going back with his foster family. Since I know that Chase will be with us for a while I think that it is good that he and Harry become buddies.

The adventure has begun . . .

 I have 2 boys, 2 sons! Just so you know I take this job as a foster parent seriously. I want every child that comes into my home to feel like they are loved, wanted, and special. Today at 4:30 we got our 4 year old C. I am going to call him Chase. (Obviously that it not his real name, I am not allowed to share that or a picture of him . . . sorry) We have only had this little guy for a few hours and I already want to keep him! There is just something about knowing where they came from and how you can change that instantly and just love love love them!! This little boy is a sweetie! He has a beautiful smile with a gap between his teeth! He has the light brown eyes that disappear when he smiles! I have tried to make him smile a lot.
Harry is still warming up to him, he is acting quite jealous. I have a feeling that they are going to be fast buddies! I asked Chase if he wanted to sleep in a room by himself or in Harry's room, he picked with Harry. I think they talked for about 30 minutes before Chase passed out. Harry was still talking, I think trying to wake him up. The morning should be interesting. I think that C will wake up early because he is used to going to Daycare. Harry, bless him, sleeps until 9:30. I hope that we can keep that going!

The adventure has begun!

First placement and second placement

Tomorrow around 4:30 we are getting a little 4 year old. Normally when we get a call we have a couple hours to get ready., having a night is something else. Honestly I don't even know how to correctly pronounce this little guys name. And honestly I am a little hesitant about bringing in a child who is older than Harry. But something in my gut told me to say yes. When I was talking to the placement coordinator about this child they also told me about a 1 year old that also needed placement. I am all about the babies. I said yea without even asking Erick, but he would be okay with me even asking. And he is. We actually won't be getting the little guy for a couple weeks because he has already been placed with a family who is going to be traveling over the summer and won't be able to keep the little guy.

But back to the first placement, it is something knowing that you have one more night before your life changes. Your whole family structure is going to be different. Harry is going to have an older brother. After being the only child he is now going to be the younger, and then in a little while he will be the middle child. I am really praying that this child will be a great fit in our house and that he and Harry will be good friends.

I hope that Harry learns and grows through this. I know that this will impact him in someway and I really hope that he does well.

Pray for us!

First call and diapers

Yesterday we got our first call for a placement. We actually missed the calls so we had to try to call them back. We ended up finding out that there was a sibling group of 3 and they wanted us to take the 7 year old. We declined because we really are set up for 3 and younger. Anything older and the poor child would feel like they are at a preschool.
I hate to say no, but I have to think about Harry and having a much older child wouldn't be a good fit right now for us.

But I am thankful that we are getting the calls. If you would pray for us that we would know what child would be a good fit, whether temporary or permanent!

My first homemade cloth diaper

In the mean time I am really trying to bust out a bunch of cloth diapers. I have just enough to keep Harry in them all day. If I get a sibling group or just a young one I will need double of what I have. I really feel committed to doing this. It really will save my family money.

Swing swing swing in the USA . . . hey hey

This is Harry's new trick and he is so proud of himself when he does it! This really makes me see that he is a growing boy and will continually try my patience, wits, heart, and speed. Having a little boy can be a challenging road. You want him to explore, have fun being adventurous, but do it all while being safe. I am having a hard time letting him be rough and rowdy because I let my worrying get in the way. All that does is upset him which in turn upsets me because he throws a fit.. it becomes a vicious cycle.
 I am realizing that I need to let him become who God has created him to be. Not all boys will be a sweet snuggler who want you to read to them all day. Like Harry, they may want to run and climb and jump, and purposely fall because they think it is funny.
I am hoping/believing that he will respect me more because I am letting him do what God has created his 2 year old self to do. I am not saying that there won't be disciplining in the midst, because man o man there is! But I am embracing who he is, because he is a little person and not a project that I have control over.
Having Harrison in my life has made my prayer life stronger for many reasons . . .1. For safety, and I bet his angels are busy!. 2. For me to mold him correctly, I don't want to ever crush his spirit only make it more sensitive. 3. For his future wife, she is going to be a special girl! (Wow I bet that she is probably out there driving her parents crazy too!) 4. For Erick and I to be of one mind in how he is raised. and 5. That he would become a God fearing little man who will have a strong faith!

The waiting game

The person who came up with the saying "the waiting game" must be playing a different game then me. Aren't games supposed to be fun and exciting!! This game is stressful, ulcerating, and leaves me on the edge of my seat. The thing is, now that we are foster parents we can get a call anytime. And when that phone call comes we have a life changing decision to make. Will you take this child who needs someone to love them, give them consistency, and make them your family for however long you are needed.The Lord is the only one who is keeping me sane through this. And he knows when and who, I need to rest in that.

But in the meantime I am waiting . . . we are all waiting.

It is a new season in our home

Okay here we go again ... Today 4/20/12 is the day that marks the beginning of our 2nd fostering journey. We are now, finally, re-licensed and are waiting on placement. I really wanted to document this process to see how God uses us and how these sweet children will change our lives.

Update on Harry

He is 2 a of 3/8 . . . enough said ;) He is a busy boy! So adventurous, smart, inquisitive, and stubborn! But he is my pride and joy! I love being his mother, he is definitely forcing me to grow in my faith and character. I needed him in my life! I am really looking forward to see how Harry changes with having the children in our home. I am really praying that there will only be positive changes.  I know the facts that this will definitely impact him.

I just started cloth diapering... I know Harrison will be potty trained soon, but we will still be saving money. I also plan on cloth diapering the foster babies we get. I am still new to this but am learning quickly! Today is going to be the first day that I am keeping Harry in cloth all day... so far so good!

Little man in his cloth diaper... little goober :)

Aleena stayed with us for a weekend!

I am not a baby anymore!

Erick's Valentine's Gift from Harry

My first Delivery photoshoot - Welcome baby Levi Benjamin!

I have to say that I was honored to be apart of Teri's home birth. I had never had the experience of seeing or being a part of a delivery since Harrison was adopted and was born early ending in a C-section. So this was so amazing for me. When I look back at these pictures I am taken back to the emotions that were going through my head. It was amazing. Life is a miracle. Only God can create the precious lives that grow inside a mommy's belly. Life is precious, life is a miracle! God is in control!

Overstimulated ?!?

For those of you that are "pinteresters" are you in the same predicament that I am in? I have over "pinned"! I have given myself toooooo many projects that I have no idea what I would like to do anymore! The same goes with my recipe food section... I want to make too many things that I don 't. Does anyone have the solution to this? In the beginning it was "I AM going to make that for my home/son/dinner" Then it turned into "I WILL one day make that . . .etc" Now it it " I am going to pin this because it makes me feel productive . . . but I probably won't make it"

But you know what as I am writing this post I am looking around my house and I am seeing numerous crafts that I have made... so I am not a complete failure I am just running out of room :)

(Sorry if the last couple posts have been rambling, but I wanted to get out "what was I thinking" or there wouldn't be a post.

But here is a picture . . .

This was a dish I made for Christmas, got the recipe from pinterest, and realized the dish beside it was another one "the rolo pretzel pecan yummy" They both were awesome!

Thanks for hanging in there with me ;)
Jen

Overwhelmed . . .

I am overwhelmed! I was doing so good last week getting in a good bit of organizing, and getting ready for when that call comes asking us to take in some foster children. But this week, after the weekend which entailed my garage being transformed into a bedroom for my brother who is moving in. I feel like I am working backwards. I am excited that my Bro is moving in, but a lot of stuff had to be moved and shuffled into the house. All of that to say that I am overwhelmed and can't move from my recliner to start putting stuff away. Can you pray that I can find where my motivation was placed. I think it is in the part of the garage that I can't reach at the moment.

Okay sorry about that but you know how a little vent here and there is just what you need to get the gloomies out. Alright I wanted to leave you with my favorite pictures of Harrison from Thanksgiving, and one from Christmas! Man I love this little boy! I am so Thankful that he was placed into my life! Only God could have allowed me to be his mommy!

My first senior photo shoot

This is my step sister Maggie! Isn't she beautiful!