Monday, November 17, 2008
Taste and See....The Lord is always good
So today Erick and I received some not so good news, we found out that both of us have issues in the baby making department, and if we were to put it into a percentage as to what are chances are of getting pregnant...it would be around a 12% chance (maybe lower) of conceiving naturally. Not so good. I was talking to some friends tonight about this and when I was, I wasn't feeling to bad or sad about it, I was actually thinking that it was funny. Why? Defense mechanism that helps to repress my true feelings? Feeling like no more news could make the situation harder? Well then the Lord put into my lap, that my Pappaw is in a coma, and Hospice is coming tomorrow. I have mentioned this earlier but this will be the first person in my life to die, first person that I "know" and is family. I have never experienced a death. So now I am feeling it... (Teri :( )My heart is aching, I realized I have been ran down by a steam roller, and my husband is not here to hold me. But then at the same time I feel comforted, like a spiritual fight. Half of me ready to make a HUGE pity party, and the other half whispering...Relax...Stop being so hormonal... Hold onto Hope...pain will only last for a night...joy in the morning...come to me weary and heavy laden I want to give you rest...rest from your plans...I am here to bring peace not confusion...my thoughts are higher than yours my plans are better than yours...Taste and see, I am good.
Sorry if I am bringing any of you down, I guess I just need accountability.