As I am writing this post I am awaiting a three way call from the adoption agency and the birth mom. It is thirty minutes past the time that they were supposed to call. I have never had butterflies like the ones that I have had all day. I keep thinking, whoa I am about to talk to the mom that is willing to give me her baby for the rest of my life. Isn't that unreal. Then I think "oh crap what am I going to say to her?" I mean I hate talking on the phone anyways. It just has always been something that I have never gotten into. I mean I hate to even order pizza.
How am I going to react? Is there going to be an overflow of emotions? Am I going to start crying? Is she going to start crying? If she did I would definitely lose it, I would probably try to talk her into keeping her baby just so that she wouldn't be sad anymore.
The thing is, if they don't call I can understand that. I won't be mad, I just really don't want to go through another day of waiting to talk to her, and imagining what to say to her, and what she is going to say to me.
Sooo... I was hoping that as I was typing this the phone would ring, I would freak out and then type phone is ringing and leave you hanging. But no the phone has not rang. So if you read this pray for a good conversation, and pray that I can make it through the plague of butterflies that entangle my intestines in anticipation!